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Great Minds Speak on the French "A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured an English major. Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him. The French general asked, 'Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?' "In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic. "And that is why from that day to now all French Army officers wear brown pants." - Author unknown; forwarded by a Muth’s News & Views reader *** "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these *** "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --- General George S. Patton *** "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." --Norman Schwartzkopf *** "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."---- Marge Simpson *** "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" ---Jacques Chirac, President of France *** "As far as France is concerned, you're right." ---Rush Limbaugh *** "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --- Regis Philbin *** "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little
cups of coffee, but why this is more *** "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn’t have the face for it." ---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona *** "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" ---Jay Leno *** "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman *** "The heaviest cross I had to bear was the Cross of Lorraine" ---Winston Churchill *** Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France! --Unknown *** NEWS ALERT *** "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'idaTo prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." --Argus Hamilton *** "Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'" --Rep. Roy Blunt (MO) *** "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq." --Dennis Miller *** "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis?" --Dennis Miller *** "Raise your right hand if you like the French ... raise both hands if you are French." *** Q. Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France? *** "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates Americans, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people." --Conan O'Brien *** "I don't know why people are surprised the French don't want to help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France." --Jay Leno *** Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army a they entered the city in WWII? *** "The last time the French ask for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman *** "Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried." --Rep. R. Blount (MO) *** "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining." --John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. *** "My favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is the one that says 'First Iraq, then France'." -Tom Brokaw *** "The French announced today that they would not help us remove Saddam from Iraq. Well, Duh! They didn't even help us remove Hitler from France." -Jay Leno *** "France said this week they need more evidence to convince them Saddam is a threat. Yeah, last time France asked for more evidence it came rollin' thru Paris with a German Flag on it." -Dave Letterman *** "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." -Unknown *** "France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France." -Mark Twain *** "Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada." -Ted Nugent *** "The only way the French are going in with us is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq." *** "War without France would be like ... uh ... World War II." *** Q. How do you stop a French tank? *** The best French bashing line heard over the last week is: *** To return to the “Lighter Side Gateway” page, click HERE To return to the “Fighting Back Gateway” page, click HERE To return to the HOME page, click HERE To leave a comment, click HERE To join our confidential email list, click HERE
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To view the Boycott Network’s “Super Index” of boycott information hosted on this website, click HERE |
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Due to the extensive scope and breath of coverage pertaining to the power grab of the “Franco-German Axis,” the Boycott Network recommends use of their special subject index by clicking HERE |
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